From the age of five years old i experienced childhood trauma. Later in my years i unintentionally continued to be in relationships that were abusive or i self sabotaged the healthier ones. My life became a roller coaster of problems but at this point I just thought i was unlucky at times. I have worked in the care industry for over 12 years supporting clients with dementia, parkinson's, complex conditions, end of life care, learning disabilities, autism, neurological diseases and more. During this time I have also supported carers that have struggled with mental health conditions and helped the best way i could with their emotional well-being. I found that a lot of people who work in care have had tough roads themselves which is why they want to give more back into the community. After working long hours and being mentally exhausted i then decided to leave the care industry in 2017 and travel for one year around south east Asia and Australia. During this time i met some extraordinary people and I have come away with wonderful memories and experiences. However, on my journey I found I was not happy inside and always searching for something more. I lived on one of the Cambodian island's for 3 months, waking up to the sand and sea is what we all dream of right? But something within me just was not at peace. I then realised it doesn't matter where you are in the world, what you have or don't have its how i feel within that is more important. 
I then returned back to the UK and joined a company called Starlight Healthcare which was the start to my next part of my journey. I joined Starlight in 2018 and worked alongside the Director Bolaji, and she was a true blessing to me. We started with just one care package but then later grew the business together. 
In may 2019 I then started to experienced a dragging pain in my pelvis area. It wasn't too bad but uncomfortable enough to go to the GP. The GP took lots of tests and then referred me to the Princess Anne Hospital. 
1 month later I had an internal scan where they discovered I had 2 x cysts on my ovaries. 
To my surprise ... 2 days later I was told I had to return to see a specialist. 
The specialist took 45 minutes carrying out the internal scan. She then told me that I had something between cancer and a disease. 
I then returned again two days later to speak to my surgeon who said I had some kind of disease, again we didn't know what that actually meant at this time. 
A Macmillan nurse was present and gave me her number to contact her for support  (At this point I was scared as i have only ever seen Macmillan nurses when supporting my end of life clients) 
I was then informed that I had to visit the fertility clinic for a discussion about my options. 
My options were to retrieve my eggs and freeze them or to use my partners sperm and create embryos. 
According to the fertility clinic embryos were the strongest choice for survival rates to have a child. 
I had 3 weeks to make this decision. (3 weeks to decide if I wanted eggs or embryos) 
If I went with eggs my chances were slim (but I had control over my future and options) if I went with embryos my chances were higher for survival (but I was taking a risk that if my partner changed his mind I wouldn't legally have access to them anymore) 
On the day of having my eggs retrieved my partner supported me and wanted to go ahead with the embryos. I was very overwhelmed at this stage but was happy that he was sticking by me for our future. 
I received daily updates on how our embryos were doing which made me so happy.
They managed to retrieve 5 eggs from me but only 2 survived. 
In total we have 2 embryos that have survived which I was so thankful for.
A week later after my fertility procedure I then had key hole surgery where they removed 1 x ovary and took a biopsy from the 2nd. 
When I woke up my surgeon said it loos like ovarian cancer and it has spread to stage 3. 
My life flashed before my eyes in seconds. Researching how long do 33 year old's have left to live. (I don't recommend doing this . Only made me worse lol) 
I returned a month later for my 3rd procedure and this one wasn't as easy. 
I had open cut surgery where they looked inside and removed parts of my body where it had spread. During this operation he also removed my remaining ovary. 
When I woke up I was told I wouldn't be able to take HRT just in case I had cancer. This was confusing as I thought I had Border Line Overian Tumour. Some people told me this is a type of cancer and some said it wasn't. 
After I recovered from the operation my body was forced into early menopause which lead to huge mood swings, sleepless nights, hot sweats, and depression. I cried so much and couldn't achieve simple tasks like calling the GP for help or even brushing my hair. 
I then decided to go on HRT despite the breast cancer scares. 
My partner went through a difficult time trying to support me and his extremely unwell father at the time. 
6 months later my partner ended our relationship and didn't want to go ahead with the embryos. 
I then went through the loss of the person I love and my only chance to have my own family. 
During this time i continued to work for Starlight and cannot thank Bolaji and the Starlight team enough for all of their support through this challenging time. Had i been working anywhere else i do not feel i would have a job left at the end of it. It took the strength and compassion from all of the women holding me during this vulnerable time.
I was then gifted with a little cavapoo called 'Scruffy' which was a 7 years old dog. I then took moved out of my partners home and took Scruffy and moved into a 2 bedroom house where he had access to a garden and parks near by. I lived in this house for only 6 months as i later found that the cost of the rent was too high for me to sustain long term.
I kept my options open and found a beautiful studio flat in Lyndhurst (New forest) and lived there for 3 years with Scruffy. 
Scruffy then sadly passed away in 2023.
During this time I wanted to find over ways to heal and tried the following over the years,
EMDR therapy
CBT therapy
NLP Therapy
Hypnosis
Shamanic Healing
EFT Therapy
EFA / M&H trainer 
Teaching qualification 
NVQ level 5 in health and social care for vulnerable adults and children  
1 year Urban Combatives training (Self defence classes) 
6 months holistic therapy with Gabby Francis,
Completed level 1 and 2 Reiki practitioner course in London,
Ayurvedic yoga massage course completed in Ibiza (supports people with neurological conditions to reduce symptoms)
Oxygen therapy (supports people to heal faster or reduce symptoms with long COVID, arthritis, cancer, dementia and much more)
Juicing and nutrition
Vipassana - 10 day silent retreat (11 hours a day meditation) Starves the ego self and helps people to manage their emotions correctly by not reacting when they feel pain or negative thoughts. 
Shadow work in solitude in the new forest with guidance from Carl Jung theories.
Trialled Hemi sync which helps to balance cognitive brain functioning,
experimenting with HRT medications and understanding the depths of how it affects women.
I am currently working more with NLP practices and due to start a 6 week course in Japanese sword which is about discovering your inner warrior, cultivating focus, developing the mental and physical discipline that the Kanta embodies. I now live in a shared house in Bournemouth with 7 other professional working women working towards the next part of my story. I also met L, lulu and Logan, where we spent our life together as a family that i never thought i could have.